Essence Of Laughter

Articles of clothing i hate:

motherfucking ponchos


ugly clogs



stupid jumpsuits.
They're like the ugly, unwanted cousins of rompers. Only models or thin/edgy people can pull them off NOT random black women in my neighborhood who wear them skin.tight.

harem pants.
just.
ew.

my worst nightmare:

harem jumpsuit.

motherfucking neon.
neon colors are just straight up unattractive and can only be pulled off in VERY small doses, like a thin neon headband or belt or ring. even nail polish is too much for me.

well, actually, with enough cajones the neon bag is a possibility.
i'll leave it to my mom.

gladiator shoes!
whhyyyy!
they take forever to put on, make the feet look really flat and wide and then your legs look shorter so they look wider, so everything looks wider and it woulda been avoided if your ass just left the gladiators to the greek.
i've seen them pulled off though! so they almost were not on this list but then...

these ones with the little boot back make no damn sense to me.

and finally!
plaid.
i just never liked it.

Also!
I came up with bucket list #25.
wander around somewhere i don't know alone.
done. XD


x.Chia


sexy fail

My neighbors have been with us for like 8 months and i just realized they had not 1 but 2 cats.

I mean, i kinda saw them around but i always thought, whose fucking cats are these? why are they always in our yard?

x.Chia

The three stupidest creatures i know are probably

a. babies
as expressed here

b.puppies



c. and flies, like the messiahs of stupid

I swear they were out to get me this week.
First it was in my bathroom.
omfg, so this one fly

OK, so, i walk in and it's like 'i am a fly. i do not know where i am. buzz buzz'
and i was okay with that. I just opened the door, listened for buzzing and when there was none, closed it
and then i hear 'buzz buzz, what the fuck was that? w/eva. i am a fly. buzz buzz'
i'm annoyed, but i open, listen, and close.
about 4 more damn times!
I swear! the door was RIGHT THERE. WIDE OPEN.
Every single time, it looked at the door, flew the opposite direction and somehow got behind the door.

The fly went from a cool "what is that big wood thing maybe it is my chance to escape" to "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck what the hell is happening buzz buzz buzz yo chia! chia! chiaaaa! oh fuck oh fuck it's back what is that?! is that a window outside the bathroom? no it must be a fucking trap i will NOT fall into a trap i ain't stupid and i will fly by her ear to let her know i am determined! buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz"

If i didn't have to pee so damn bad, i woulda given up.

And then some of them are damn cocky!
You're all like, shoo, i will be brave, i am larger than you, leave this place!
And it's like"'fo realz? yo come look at this ho flippin her arms i'mma laugh at her buzz buzz buzz ha ha ha this is better than jersey shore wait..lemme hide...ok, she's done...here i am! ha ha ha buzz buzz buzz i'mma fuck up her nap this afternoon"

I don't understand!

And them some of them are super fresh.
They wait in the bathroom, and after the i open the door and think they're gone, i am free to drop the towel and proceed.
I swear, they wait till i ain't got no clothes on and then reappear like "hey baby, can i tap that azzz?"

ugh

x.Chia

i think life should be easier.
^^clickety click.

: )
 x.Chia

Coversation of the day.

So, our family friend had just brought over some clothes for me, mostly sweatpant capri things, and her stuff is usually a little clubbish for my life (what life?) but it was nice stuff.

Later, to mom:

Me: "The only ones I don't like are the white pants because they're see through and you can see my butt."

Mom: "So? Wear black underwear."

Me: " But it's tight, you can see the outline of my butt!"

Mom: "It dosen't matter! Who's gonna be looking anyway?"

I'm not sure if i should be insulted or worried that i'm the modest one when it comes to clothes, haha.
She's right though!
No one's gonna be looking.
I'm severly, severly lacking in the back department.
I like to think i make it up with personality. That's good stuff right? Personality is super sexy right?
...
right?

Well, this one old man was looking.
He called me juicy*.

*To be clear on the 'juicy', it was in the library as i was volunteer shelving, and he just kept saying it and i didn't even realize he was talking to me. I was like, who the fuck is jesse?

x.Chia

I want a bucket list...so here are the beginnings of my great wonderful aspirations.

2. To learn one another language isn't good enough,
    I wanna pwn in 5 languages [ English, Spanish, Japanese ]
    Next: Arabic. Then...Greek?

3. Learn to cook!

4. Learn to Salsa!

5. Spend a weekend in a luxurious, beautiful hotel.
     Five stars won't do.
     I want to be in the seven star Burj Al Arab Hotel, Dubai.



6. Dance the night and early hours of the morning away in a sketchy nightclub, surrounded by friends.

7. Road Trip! Through anywhere, to anywhere.

8. Sky. Dive.

9. See a solar eclipse.

10. Go to the most beautiful show around - performers in the air, or a ballet, or an opera!

11. Ecstasy. XD

12. Hot Air Baloon!

13. Helicopter ride! At sunset.



14. A canopy tour.

15. Learn to do a backflip.

16. Ride the biggest rollercoaster I can find.

17. Skinny Dip!

18. Send a message in a bottle.

19. A waterfall.

20. Buy beautiful expensive gown, just because.

21. Attend a huge rock concert where i will proceed to party like it's 12/20/2012

22. Kiss a stranger. One without an STD would be great.

23. A drive in movie.

24. Sneak into a movie.

25. Sneak into the boys bathroom!
      Oh wait, i already did that by accident.
      nvm.

25...?

What should number 25 be?

I don't need a mansion or a sweet ride. Incredible experiences are all the luxury i need.

x. Chia

is it obvious i want to dress up?
i wish it were the 1700's or something, a great big celebration ball
with charming men, big gowns, gold drapes and porcelain floors

oh, to live the glamorous life.

x.Chia